Podcast 225: Our Amanda was missing; Exclusive: The email we didn’t post; Brittany’s restraining order; Wedding etiquette

Rest in peace to Gloria Steinem. B and Amanda thank her for her advocacy for feminism and human equality. Funny story: Amanda was a missing person for about 16 hours and learned what it was to have an Italian mom and a Jewish mom worried about her. Danny and Nia will not be on season 4 of The Valley (the hosts weren't surprised), and could Lacy become a full-time cast member? Brittany Cartwright was granted a temporary restraining order, and Jax Taylor fired back by filing his own, which is a big hit to Jax's plans to get back onto The Valley and to Lori Krebs' efforts to rehabilitate his reputation. Podcast exclusive: B and Amanda got an email in the Send Us Tea inbox about E! developing The Golden Life Miami that they hadn't posted yet, but since it's just among friends on the pod, they read it and talk about why they held it. Plus, the RHOBH season 16 cast is confirmed, Dorit hires Farrah's baby daddy to sell her house, a Real Housewives of London catch-up, and Amanda Batula and West Wilson went to yet another wedding, with a little controversy that Cocktailers knew about first. That led to a wedding etiquette conversation where B and Amanda had slightly different perspectives.

Topics Discussed

• Remembering Gloria Steinem and Looking Forward to Fall — B and Amanda honor Gloria Steinem's legacy and share why fall is their favorite season.
• Our Amanda Was Missing: The 16-Hour Wellness Check — Amanda went off the grid for a boat day and learned what it's like to have an Italian mom and a Jewish mom worried about her.
• Danny and Nia Are Out of The Valley Season 4, Plus Scheana and Lacy Updates — Multiple sources confirmed Danny and Nia won't return, Scheana is rumored to be back, and Lacy may stay a friend-of.
• Brittany's Restraining Order and Jax Fires Back — Brittany Cartwright was granted a temporary restraining order, Jax filed his own, and an email says this ends his Valley comeback and Lori Krebs' PR plan.
• RHOBH Season 16 Cast Confirmed, and Dorit Hires Farrah's Baby Daddy — Bravo confirmed the cast, Erika's boyfriend is filming, and Dorit hired Zach Goldsmith to sell her house.
• The Email We Didn't Post: Is E! Developing The Golden Life Miami? — A podcast exclusive: the hosts read the E! Golden Life Miami email and explain why they hadn't shared it.
• Real Housewives of London: Amanda vs. Juliet and the Castle Bill — Why Amanda Cronin may be jealous of Juliet Angus, the Scottish castle incidentals bill, and season 2 spy intel.
• West and Amanda's Oregon Wedding Controversy, and a Wedding Etiquette Debate — West brought Amanda Batula to a wedding without a plus-one, sparking a debate on plus-ones, no-kids weddings, and gift traditions.

Mentioned in This Episode

Gloria Steinem, Danny Booko and Nia Sanchez, Janet and Jason Caperna, Scheana Shay, Lacy Nicole, Jesse Lally, Michelle Saniei, Brittany Cartwright, Jax Taylor, Lori Krebs, Leah Remini and Tracy Tutor, Kyle Richards, Erika Jayne, Dorit and PK Kemsley, Farrah Brittany and Zach Goldsmith, Alexia Nepola, Marysol Patton, Lisa Hochstein, Larsa Pippen, and Kiki Barth, Juliet Angus, Juliet Mayhew, Amanda Cronin, Panthea Parker, West Wilson and Amanda Batula

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Remembering Gloria Steinem and Looking Forward to Fall

Welcome to Cocktails and Gossip, the podcast where we drink cocktails, but you better believe we're gonna spill the tea. We chat reality TV, celebrity blinds, and the hottest tea from BravoAndCocktails.com. And as always, it's all alleged and just for fun. We do not verify our blinds. I'm B. And I'm Amanda. Let's get into this week's tea.

What's up, Cocktailers? Hello, Amanda.

Hi, B. Hi, Cocktailers. First, we just want to give our love to the family and friends of Gloria Steinem, who sadly passed away yesterday. She was a journalist, author, and icon who was really the face of feminism, a movement she led in the 1960s and '70s. You'll remember women could not have bank accounts or credit cards without a man co-signing until 1974.

Which is, by the way, the year my parents got married. How insane is that? That was 51 years ago. We had sent men to the Moon many years before that.

A quote of hers that really resonates with me: "A feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men." That's the definition of feminist I've always followed. It's not about burning bras or tearing down men. It's about recognizing our equality as human beings. So thank you, Gloria Steinem. Rest in peace.

Rest in peace, Gloria. I was raised by proudly outspoken feminists. I'm an '80s baby, so I wasn't born that many years after women needed a man to co-sign their bank account, but I've always been surrounded by strong women, and I will always have a special place in my heart for loud, daring women. I'm doing a rewatch of The Gilded Age, because the new season is coming, and my daughter doesn't watch with me. History pieces don't always go over well with the tween set.

I did watch The Buccaneers with my daughter, which is a little more YA, and that was really good. So you might try that to ease her in.

She happened to be sitting with me on the couch on her tablet, and they were talking about fighting for women's right to vote, and she was in disbelief and so angry. I said, "Yeah, that's a real thing." And I told her about the bank account, because I heard that not many years ago and was floored. Gloria and all the women who refused to settle for being second-class citizens, thank you and rest in peace.

How are you doing? In my mind, fall starts next week, the week after Labor Day, although technically we've got quite a few more weeks of summer. This year has flown by, as crazy as it's been.

Historically, fall is always my favorite. The new school year, even though I haven't been a student in many years, as a parent it brings it back. It's a fresh start. Once I get in the swing of things, I'll be stressed out with everything school and a full sports schedule, but I love a good apple picking. I love sweater weather.

And cooking more, that's my big thing. When it finally cools down, something switches in me. I have a Sunday ritual of watching football, meal prepping, and cooking hearty stuff like stews.

Our Amanda Was Missing: The 16-Hour Wellness Check

Cocktailers, I have a really funny story. I was a missing person for about 16 hours this weekend. You know B and I text daily and email almost daily. B sent me a text on Saturday. Last weekend I had made a conscious decision to go to bed early. We weren't doing anything big: get rest, catch up on life stuff, spend time with my kids and my husband, and try to stay off my phone, because I'm never more than a foot away from it, like most people. But for some reason I didn't see the text from B, and I didn't respond. You know those memes, "When you text me, realize who you're texting," with 1,000 in the red bubble? That's me. I don't delete texts. But there are certain people I always look for texts from and always respond to. I do remember going to bed really early on Saturday, because we played a board game with my daughter and then went to bed. I was just exhausted. The next day we had plans to go wake surfing with friends, an all-day boat thing. I wake up, I'm making snacks, packing a cooler, getting the whole family out the door. We get to the boat, and I put my phone in the waterproof compartment so it doesn't go flying into the water. We have a great day on the lake. Then I get back to the car, look at my phone, and see a bunch of missed calls from B, and I'm like, "Oh crap, something big must have happened in the gossip world," feeling terrible.

Then I look at the texts. From B, 9:39 AM Sunday: "Hi. Not sure if you saw the message yesterday, but people are still asking for the ad-free pod on the site." And I always post it on Friday. I just forgot. From B, 11:10 AM Sunday: "Hope all is okay. I'm nervous. I haven't heard back," with two pink heart emojis. From Tracy, 12:26 Sunday: "Hi, I'm doing a wellness check. Can you let me know when you get this text message? XO." So I call B, no answer. I call Tracy: "Oh my gosh, what happened today?" Then B calls, so I connect us on a three-way call in the car with my family. B is like, "We were so worried, because it's not like you to not respond at all." And Tracy's like, "Now you know what it's like to have a Jewish mom."

So I texted you midday Saturday, because most of you have the ad-free pod downloaded through the Apple app, but some people have Android and it doesn't download, so they listen from the site. It was only a couple of people asking, so I texted you and honestly forgot about it. Then I woke up the next morning and the same couple of people were asking. And I told the Cocktailers, "I have to call her. I'm worried. It's not like her not to text me back." So I worried our Cocktailers too. Then I was like, this is how dramatic I'm being, I probably shouldn't be telling people. What if something's wrong? So I call Tracy, and instead of being like, "B, she missed one text," she's like, "Oh my God, something's definitely wrong. This isn't normal." So now we're working each other up, the Italian mom and the Jewish mom: everybody's dead. Then I realize I don't have your husband's phone number, so I sent him a DM. And Tracy is like, "This is ridiculous. I can't believe we don't have emergency contacts for each other. We're all dead." I'm spiraling. Meantime, I haven't even mentioned this to my husband, because the day before I just sent one text. When I finally tell him, he's like, "Calm down. You've sent her two texts." So I try to call, and it rings but goes to voicemail. I call Tracy: "Maybe she lost her phone." And she's like, "If she lost her phone, she would have her husband call us."

I was very flattered. Everybody was so worried. I was thinking, should I just share my location with them? And thank God I didn't, because they would've thought I was at the bottom of a lake. We would've been on a flight. I'm really sorry that I made you guys worry. My kids were like, "What is going on?" Next time, if I decide I need a little downtime like that, I will tell B and Tracy. And I agree, we do need emergency contacts. I'll start an email chain on that today.

Danny and Nia Are Out of The Valley Season 4, Plus Scheana and Lacy Updates

Okay, we have a lot to cover. We've been getting a lot of intel on The Valley, coming in hot and heavy over the last couple of weeks. We got stuff in June, then the Jax and Lori of it all happened, and in the last couple of weeks we've gotten some solid intel that we shared on Cocktail Party, our subscription site. This week we publicly posted that Danny and Nia would not be coming back to The Valley. We had multiple sources confirm.

What we heard in June was they were deciding: are Janet and Jason coming back? Are Danny and Nia coming back? It was a foregone conclusion that both couples wouldn't return. Then I had a second and a third person confirm Danny and Nia were out, and I posted it publicly to my Instagram grid. I think it's important to remember that aside from viewers' personal feelings about Danny and his behavior, that doesn't always get you out. Sometimes it can be interesting. He really screwed himself when he didn't show up for Watch What Happens Live, and I remember you and I saying it. You mess up, you have to come to the reunion, you have to come to Watch What Happens Live. Historically, the Bravolebrities who don't are given the heave-ho, and rightfully so. That was the nail in the coffin. Immediately after we posted, Janet posted a picture of herself in the car with a friend, smirking, playing Taylor Swift's "Karma." As if that wasn't confirmation enough, Nia and Danny posted jointly announcing they would not be returning. Oddly enough, they used the exact picture I'd found on Google for my meme. I don't know if that was a coincidence or a nod to us, but I'll take it. She worded it vaguely. She didn't say they were fired, she didn't say they chose to leave, but she said she was protecting her peace and doing what was in the best interest of her family, alluding to it being their choice. I was told they were not asked back, but Bravo never comes out and says that. They let the Bravolebrity position it however they want. I am happy they're not coming back. A lot of people are mad about Janet's post, because a lot of people like Nia. Whatever we think about Danny, I think that was a miscalculation on Janet's part.

I agree. I'm not surprised. I didn't see how the show would move forward with Danny and Nia on it with the same cast. Even Kristen has said, "Now that I'm watching this back, I'm horrified." I was way more surprised when we heard the Capernas were possibly on the chopping block, because just because fans don't like people doesn't make Bravo kick them out. If somebody is really messing up the cast dynamics, which I would say Danny and Nia were, that made more sense. And Danny really messed up by standing Andy up. Janet and Jason have played the game with Bravo. I'm sure it was not easy for Janet when she came to BravoCon. Fans did not like her then, and she came and looked gorgeous. It just didn't add up for Janet to be gone, because she's so close with Brittany and Michelle, and we'd heard Scheana may be coming back, and she's so close to Scheana.

It hasn't been confirmed, but the streets are saying Scheana's coming back. I've seen other accounts post it. You never know if it's Scheana herself leaking it, but it makes sense. We already covered the Lala and Scheana storyline. The other thing I can tell you is they want Lacy, Jesse's girlfriend, full-time, but I'm hearing she only wants to be a friend-of. She's been pretty open about not wanting to be full-time. She's guarded about areas of her life. I can't see Bravo not compromising, because they want Jesse there for the Michelle dynamic. She was a friend-of last time, and we still got confessionals and saw her a lot.

And she lives in the OC, not LA, and that is a commute. She's very devoted to her daughter and the life she's built for her in the OC. Fans love Lacy. I haven't seen many people have a bad thing to say about her. I think she's a breath of fresh air, really different from what we see on reality TV. I know she and Michelle got off on the wrong foot, but she took accountability, and what we watched last season was her really trying to be super respectful of Michelle even when Jesse wasn't. That made me like her a lot.

When I met her at that Hulu Get Real event, I found her charming and very genuine. I really liked her.

Brittany's Restraining Order and Jax Fires Back

Also in the last week, while all this Valley casting drama happened, a judge granted Brittany Cartwright a temporary restraining order against Jax. In her filing, she stated she was in genuine fear for her safety and accused him of a pattern of coercive control, financial abuse, emotional and psychological abuse, gaslighting, and even physical violence. Then on September 1st, Jax fired back with his own domestic violence restraining order, which a judge partially granted. Jax claimed Brittany labeled him an abuser through malicious lies and that she cost him multiple jobs, including a canceled casting on Special Forces, by contacting networks and business partners.

It couldn't possibly be that the networks and business partners watched him on television and didn't want to work with him. Jax got himself fired. Come on, Jax.

Before Jax filed, but after Brittany filed, we got this email, subject "He's irate and she's scrambling": "Now that Brittany has been granted a temporary restraining order against Jax, he definitely won't be back on the show. Lori Krebs, the publicist, was hoping their scandalous love affair could be spun into him being sober, healthy, and doing well in his new, stable relationship. Clearly the network won't want anything to do with him now. Even if they were considering having him back, that is out. Jax is irate, Lori is scrambling. No show, no need for him to stay with her. It's a relationship of convenience for him. She's obsessed with him. He hoped this relationship would get him back on the show. Let's see how long they last now."

That's a good email. It all makes sense. I believe they would cover the situation with Lori, but I don't believe they ever planned to have him back full-time. That was wishful thinking. There were a lot of reactions to Brittany's restraining order, the majority saying good for her. Whatever our feelings on Brittany, I'm no fan, but she does need to protect herself. From what we've seen, and her friends have spoken out, Zack, Kristen, and others, he has shown himself to be dangerous, especially where she's concerned. There's backlash saying this all happened years ago. First of all, that's not true. His threats are ongoing. They haven't been around each other, so maybe the physical parts haven't been recent, but I don't think we can fault somebody for waiting. And why would she want to film with him?

There was the really big incident where he did put his hands on her. It was on video, it was really scary, and she refers to that in the filing. When people ask why she waited, I can imagine that after he went to rehab, she was hoping he would be calmer and all the craziness would stop. It hasn't, and he's harassing her. I'm sure she didn't want to file something like that because she wanted to keep things as peaceful as possible for her son, and was hopeful that if they're not in the same physical space he'd calm down and still come see Cruz. He proved her wrong, and she felt she had to do it. I don't think this is just about blocking him from filming. That's a fringe benefit. If there wasn't actual merit to the claims and good proof, the judge wouldn't have granted it.

100% agree. What I don't believe we should ever do is question a domestic violence restraining order. If the judge deems it appropriate, it's appropriate, and that goes for both parties. So bye, Jax. I hope to never see him on our television again. We've said this before.

RHOBH Season 16 Cast Confirmed, and Dorit Hires Farrah's Baby Daddy

Everyone's talking about Beverly Hills this week, because last week we talked about Leah Remini joining the cast, and we're starting to see pictures of the cast filming. Bravo officially confirmed Kyle, Rachel, Erika, Dorit, Sutton, Leah, Tracy, and Boz as full-time, with Jennifer Tilly and Kathy Hilton as friends-of. We saw them filming at Rachel Zoe's birthday party. Huge cast. I don't think Erika was even in that picture, because she was traveling. I think it's going to be a great season.

I'm so excited. Erika was on tour with Kesha, which just ended. This morning I saw a picture of Erika and her boyfriend arriving at some group event, so her boyfriend is filming. She's all in. I am certain that was demanded.

I thought this was very interesting. We got a little patch of tea. We had touched on Farrah, Kyle's daughter, announcing her baby daddy, and there was some scandal around it. Interestingly enough, Dorit has hired Zach Goldsmith, Farrah's baby daddy, to sell her house after the judge ordered it sold and said she must vacate by November 1st and that PK must make the mortgage current. So I'm hearing this and thinking it sounds like a good sign. We heard Kyle publicly say in the press ahead of filming that she would like to come into this season and make amends with Dorit. Dorit has now chosen her daughter's boyfriend to sell her house, so I have to imagine that's a good sign for the trajectory of their friendship.

I have to ask you, Amanda. PK can't pay the mortgage, he's broke, all this. I know Dorit is frivolous with her spending. They're both financially irresponsible. But he's been frolicking all over Europe. He's in Greece, always spotted with these gorgeous women. I need to know. You've got no money, you've got no looks. I'll give him the charm. I think he's got that British humor. I think he's witty. But with all these financial issues and this horrific divorce, what's the draw?

Do we know that he's not paying these women? How do we know he doesn't have money? Maybe he's just not paying for his house or his family. I do think he's got a nice charm, but I don't really see it. I don't know that we know for sure there's not some sort of exchange, like, "If we make out in front of the cameras at this very public place, somebody will take a picture and you'll get exposure." Who knows?

The Email We Didn't Post: Is E! Developing The Golden Life Miami?

There's something I've been wanting to chat about with you. You know we get stuff sent into the Send Us Tea inbox that we aren't so sure about. Sometimes we still post it and say we're hearing conflicting things. Sometimes we wait. We got something this week and waited, but I thought, here among friends, we can talk about it and why we haven't shared it. The email says: "E! Exclusives. E! is collecting Bravo stars like Infinity Stones. E! is also developing The Golden Life Miami as a continuation of the new series The Golden Life. This ensemble series features several familiar faces from the Real Housewives of Miami universe. The cast currently includes Alexia Nepola, Marysol Patton, Lisa Hochstein, Larsa Pippen, and Kiki Barth, with additional new Miami women expected to join the group. The series would follow the women as they continue to live their lavish Miami lives, from relationships and family drama to business, nightlife, and the city's never-ending social scene. There is currently no word on whether Guerdy, Stephanie, Julia Lemigova, or Adriana de Moura will be involved. The potential series comes after Bravo put The Real Housewives of Miami on pause following its seventh season, leaving the fate of several of the show's stars uncertain. Official development details and production will not begin until the stars are out of their NBCU contracts, which is usually 12 months after the last episode of their show airs." What are you thinking?

As much as receiving this email excited me, because Cocktailers love them some Miami and we were very upset when it was paused, I have a couple of really good Miami sources, and when I sent this to them and asked for the scoop, they said, "Huh? We haven't heard this." With that said, this email could be coming from somebody at the E! network putting a feeler out. What gives me hesitation is this: yes, they did this with RHONY after years, and the spinoff wasn't as well received, although the new season seems to be. They just took Miami off, and the reason, as much as lovers of the show don't get it, is people weren't watching. We got an email about Jersey Shore and some other Jersey people like Danielle Cabral being picked up by E! because MTV is no longer, and they have a big fan base. But why would E! look at a show and go, "Got terrible ratings on Bravo? Perfect, we want them"?

I'm going to give a different opinion. I actually could see E! taking this kind of strategy, because they can take casts that Bravo is no longer working with, but that still have a really strong fan base, and give them a show for less money. They can pay the cast less and still get what they need in revenue and fan following. We're seeing a bit of a pattern. The Golden Life has been quite well received internally; they extended the show. Now we're talking about some of the Jersey Shore cast plus a couple of other Jersey personalities being on a show. I can see E! making this their strategy.

So what you're saying is post the email? Sometimes we can say, "Our sources haven't heard this."

Our sources haven't heard about this, but I also think this could be something being talked about within the confines of E!. I'd be surprised by two things: one, if Bravo doesn't tell E! to cut it out, because E! has kind of broken off from the same universe. But they can't tell them to cut it out once the women are out of contract; the women then have to accept that there's no more Bravo. And this cast is so loved, I'd be surprised if Bravo doesn't keep them. I looked it up, and the last episode of Miami aired on Bravo in October 2025.

The reality is, once their contract is up, unless Bravo agrees to pay all of these people anyway, which they're not going to do, because then they'd just film the show. If I'm Alexia and Marysol, with more than a decade-long relationship with Bravo, I'm going to keep a real close eye on how The Golden Life New York goes. If they're getting all the fanfare again, and they just got all those extra episodes, and these women all know each other, Alexia can call up Luann and say, "Girl, what kind of money did you settle on?" And there's nothing Bravo can do. Bravo can't afford to keep paying every star they've ever had. So it seems like they've got about a month to make that decision. E! always had similar reality shows, and MTV had Jersey Shore, but Bravo was the godfather of these types of shows. Now you see Hulu picking up speed and E! poaching talent. As a reality television fan, give me all of it. My loyalty is to gossip.

They do have that fan base, and maybe crappy ratings to Bravo are good ratings to E!. I don't work in that world, so it's hard for me to know how Bravo looks at a budget versus E!. Think about The Kardashians, the biggest reality show E! has ever had. Anyway, what the hell happened to VH1? Why can't we get a Behind the Music? I lived for those.

Real Housewives of London: Amanda vs. Juliet and the Castle Bill

We talked a little about Real Housewives of London on the Cocktail Party pod last week, but it sounds like you finished watching.

I'm all caught up. I watched most of the reunion this morning. Last week when you were talking about Amanda being the villain, I hadn't gotten to that part yet. I can tell you as a viewer, the second Juliet Angus came on, I was intrigued. It's so crazy how one person can change the entire dynamic for the group, but she did. Amanda, the villain, went toe-to-toe with Panthea, and I was taken aback. When she was saying "back to Paddington," I thought she was going to hit her. The producer definitely got up to make sure nothing physical happened. Also, I love that pink dress. I want that pink dress. She's little, and I love her style.

I do think Amanda is jealous of Juliet. Best I can tell from watching ten episodes and not knowing anything about the person before, when she speaks about her daughter and her marriage, I think she very much misses the time in her life when she was a family unit with her ex-husband and her daughter. She was looking at Juliet, going to her house, and it was almost like going back in time to when she had that. And you'll see at the reunion, which is on Peacock, when she keeps calling her broke, I think it's because we all know money cannot buy happiness. If you're dirt poor, you're not happy, but there's a threshold. Juliet clearly has a nice home and a great career. She's at that threshold where if she had Amanda's money but didn't have her family, she'd be unhappy. It's hard for me to be mad at Amanda, because it's so obvious what it is.

There's something about Juliet's reactions that puts me off, though.

I think Juliet was just so shocked and trying to understand where this was all coming from. Her reaction is more like, "What the heck is happening? Is this just being done for television? Does she really feel like this?" Why the strong animosity?

Of course I understand the shock and the anger. What bothered me was when the women didn't fully take her side and tried to see both sides, she was like, "What do you mean you're not on my side?"

Somebody you had a close relationship with coming to say, "No, I didn't know you, you've never been in my house," and calling you a liar about facts would throw me off. It would put me on my back foot. And Juliet is a good reality star, because she comes back and says some really mean things and brings up the white witch thing. She does fight back. If you haven't watched it, it is cinema. I've been under the assumption that they rushed season one out to us the way they did, dropping multiple episodes, because they wanted us caught up since season two will be airing fairly soon in Europe on Hayu, and we'll get it at the same time on Peacock. We really better, because I still don't know how to figure out a VPN. And for our purposes, as Cocktailers, it doesn't make sense to talk about it until everyone can see it.

But I do have a little spy in London who says there's a moment in Real Housewives of London season two where producers had to hold Amanda back, take her away, and tell her to calm down. She gets physical. Also, Juliet Mayhew has a lot to answer for, as she lies so much and is exposed in season two, and has told people she's nervous about it airing.

I'm not surprised. I clocked something with her from the very beginning, when they'd show sweeping interior views of everybody's homes and they did not with her. And Panthea's going after her about borrowing clothes, which, by the way, if I were a housewife, heck yeah I'd be borrowing clothes. I wouldn't want to spend $100,000 on a wardrobe just for television and only wear things once. But giving each woman a bill after the castle. If you haven't watched, this isn't giving too much away: Juliet invites everybody to a Scottish castle that her husband is a part owner and investor in. She's hosting. But before they leave the castle, their butler is like, "I just have a small incidentals bill for you," and pulls out the credit card machine. Very awkward. It wasn't a huge amount, a couple hundred pounds at most. I think it was Nessie who finally told her the girls were talking about it.

Panthea was very mean-spirited in the way she brought it up at a party and positioned it to make Juliet look broke. I don't agree with how Panthea brought it up, but when I heard it, I thought, that's so weird. If you're a shareholder in a castle and you're well-to-do, it's the equivalent of me making you and Tracy pay 20 bucks each. I'd just grab it.

It's the fact that Juliet then doubled down, called the castle staff, reviewed camera footage, and missed the point entirely. It was such a wonderful weekend, and then to nickel-and-dime based on how many drinks?

Sometimes people are just cheap. I'm sure the network paid for them to stay at the castle, whatever the fees were, because she's a shareholder, and what they didn't cover, she made the women cover. I do find it tacky, but there are wealthy people who are just cheap. Also, you're being filmed, so you should assume it's going to be spoken about, you fool.

Even if it's something you'd normally ask somebody for money for, maybe don't do it while filming the show. The other women are like, "This taints the weekend. It feels odd, especially when it's only a couple hundred a person and we all could have taken care of it." But Juliet is like, "No, and we counted your drinks, and you drink a lot more." It's completely gone over her head. I saw an interview with Juliet Angus and Panthea, and they said in season two we see a lot of change in friendship dynamics. Panthea kind of drives me crazy, so maybe she'll calm down. I'll be watching season two.

West and Amanda's Oregon Wedding Controversy, and a Wedding Etiquette Debate

Another thing in the news we had to bring up: there was another wedding West and Amanda went to, and we were the first to get the intel. We got this as the rehearsal dinner happened, and then the wedding happened. In case you missed it or you're not subscribers: "Amanda and West are in Oregon for a wedding. The couple did not invite him with a plus-one, but he brought her. They're very touchy. She's kind of hiding behind him, a little odd." Then: "The bride was pissed that he brought a date without being invited with one. It was a small wedding with 105 people. To be fair, it's on him, not her. She likely didn't know he wasn't invited with a plus-one. Amanda never said hello to the bride." The source speculates maybe Amanda felt uncomfortable because she did know she wasn't invited, but they didn't know whether Amanda knew or not.

The person with the intel sent a picture of West with the couple in a photo booth. I didn't post it because it was during the wedding, and I'm not going to post a picture of the groom. Nobody knows him. The bride wasn't in those pictures. But the next day a follower sent me pictures of West, Amanda, the bride, and the groom in a photo booth, because you guys are serious detectives. So at some point Amanda and the bride were in a picture together. Do I think the bride was annoyed? Yes. Do I think she'd hop in a photo booth at her wedding and take a picture? Also yes. I do think it's true that he was invited without a date. I have to say something, though, and I'll probably get negative feedback, but here's my unpopular opinion. As a general rule, I think adults should be given dates to weddings. I appreciate that weddings are expensive, but I've always found it a little odd. These people are in their 30s. I know the argument is if you're all friends from college, you have your group, but if most of your friends are coupled up, you're the odd man out. I've been with my husband since college, so I've never been the single at the wedding, but I've been at a lot of weddings where my friends weren't invited with dates, and I'm dancing with my husband and they're standing there. Just my opinion. Please don't fry me.

Two things. One, etiquette, because I looked this up for my own wedding, is that you're assumed to have a plus-one unless you're told you don't. But a lot of people don't know that. I think it depends on the wedding and the person. The bride and groom are around 30 and invited a bunch of people from their college friend group. West is in that group and has a lot of friends coming, so they may think the person he brings would actually feel left out of the core college group. Versus the bride's cousin, who isn't going to know a lot of people, so she should be invited with a date. If you have the budget, I think it's good to give plus-ones and let people choose. But I can see cases where he doesn't need a date because he's friends with half the wedding.

I get all those points, and this is a very unique situation, because anyone who watches Bravo knows the scandal. It's quite possible the bride and groom specifically didn't want him to bring a date because his date would garner a lot of gawking and unwanted attention. And to that I say, it behooves the groom, who's the friend, to call him and say, "Listen, I have 105 people at my wedding, and I don't want you to bring Amanda, because I want the day to be focused on me and my wife." And if West said, "Okay, then I'm not going to come," fine. They've also been dating since March, so March through August. Inviting adults who are seeing somebody for five or six months without a date is weird to me, even if it is a college friend group. But in this case, even if they'd been together a year, the bride probably wouldn't want them at her small wedding, and they need to say that. Then it's a conversation with West.

We could slam West for a lot. And speaking as somebody who's been married many years, I remember how much drama went on about weddings, the guest list, bridesmaids, groomsmen. I do understand the no-kids piece. I got married pretty young, so I only had a couple of older cousins with kids, and one just brought them, and it was no problem. It was a huge wedding, who noticed? But I want your opinion on this. I was invited to my cousin's wedding in Ireland. At the time I think I only had my son, and he was about two, and my nephew was two. My parents intended to go, we intended to go, and we were told we couldn't bring our kids. I live in New York, so I clearly don't know anyone there. It isn't like it's upstate, where my parents could come with us, or I could leave them with my in-laws or a babysitter. I'm in Ireland. I don't have a babysitter. My cousin was not happy we weren't coming and said, "I have phone numbers of people you can leave them with." If they were 12, that's one thing, but you don't leave your non-verbal toddler in another country with somebody they don't know. They weren't even old enough to say, "Mom, this person hit me." So whose side are you on?

Very much yours, because if it's a family wedding, your parents are coming to the wedding too, so who exactly is supposed to watch the kids? And it's not like you're a baller who can fly your in-laws to Ireland. My first wedding was a decent-sized fancy wedding, and we didn't put "no kids" on the invitation. We had individual conversations with people in the family who had kids. Two of my cousins had newborns, and I said, "No, I want you to be there. Please bring the baby." I'm the type who steals the baby and takes it everywhere and pretends it's mine. So if you want them there, you need to make allowances for the kids. Kids, more so than the plus-one, are very case-by-case. Your nieces and nephews are going to be at the wedding for most people, but that doesn't mean your friend from college's kids can come. And I'm guessing that cousin hadn't had kids and didn't understand, so I'd give them a little grace.

Honestly, I was not mad at all. We just didn't go. My parents were a little more annoyed because they would've liked everybody to go. And her older sister, who had a son, actually was mad and spoke to her about it, but her husband had so many kids on his side, so I totally understood. That was the only time I ever expected my kids to go to a wedding. Other than that, I would like a night off, thank you.

To wrap it up in a bow, my attitude is if the person has kids and it's a no-kids wedding, you have to make peace with the fact that they might not come, because everybody has different standards for childcare and who they'll leave their child with. If you're going to have a strict no-kids policy, you've got to be at peace with that and not pass judgment on why people aren't coming.

100%. And I'm bracing myself for all the DMs about a variety of wedding issues. Is this a wedding etiquette podcast now? We could start a whole podcast on it. The other thing that was big in my family, and a lot of these people listen, was adult children who come to the wedding with their parents, like your second cousin, and don't give a gift. You're past college, you're working, but you go with your parents as if you're a kid. The Italian mothers in my family certainly expected a gift. When I was 24 going to my cousin's wedding, I had an envelope. I was an adult with a career, and I was paying. And New York is cash. Do you do gifts, like vases?

Everything is so regional. I was talking to somebody from Wisconsin, and at Wisconsin weddings there's a certain amount you give, like a good-luck thing. Jewish tradition as well, giving in multiples of 18. And we all have to respect each other's traditions, because I went to a wedding that had a dollar dance, and I had to pick my jaw up off the floor, because I'd never seen that. I thought it was Italian, but it's more of a Greek thing, and other cultures. Someone in the family said, "This is our tradition. If the bride and groom didn't do it, the elders would be really upset." Sometimes you see somebody throw the garter, sometimes people feed each other cake. Everybody has different wedding traditions, and I'm not passing judgment. Cocktails and Weddings is coming.

When I was a little kid, my aunt had strippers at her wedding. They didn't get naked, they were in lingerie, but it was crazy. I was five or six, with my older cousins, and she and her new husband each had a stripper. It was like a lap dance. Oh, to be in Brooklyn in the '80s. She had a man who was a cop, and he had a woman who was a nurse, or maybe a waitress. All the kids in the family were invited, so we all had the pleasure of seeing this as young children. My aunt's a character. I'll tell you that story another time.

I have a lot more questions I'll ask you offline. We love you guys. Have a great week, everybody.

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